Don't pull it out if you don't know how to use it...
We've all been through it, you meet a man and everything about him seems to fit the ideal of what you've been looking for-for what has become to feel like an eternity. He has the warmest personality, a career he could retire from, and sex appeal that makes you melt whenever his powerful-chiseled arms surround you. He seems like a real gentleman, and then you hear those dreaded words, "I'm versatile".
To some those two little words may not be a bad thing, but if you're a total bottom, those two words could turn all your hopes and dreams of walking down the aisle with this man, and flush them right down the drain. Why you ask? Well most men who claim to be versatile, turn out to be bottoms or at the very least verse-bottoms! It continues to blow my mind in terms of why these men hide behind this mask of being versatile, when they are really pussy cats in heat, waiting on all fours. According to the dictionary the definition of versatile as it pertains to a human, is someone who is capable of, or adapted for turning easily from one to another of various task. Therefore if you cannot perform your duties as a top as well as you do when you're a bottom, or if you find yourself on your back more than on your knees behind some delicious cakes, then once again you are a bottom with aspirations of being a top.
I cannot count on one hand how many men I have dealt with who in initial conversation claimed that they were versatile, and when it came time for making love, they were on their paws with an arch so deep, it would make McDonalds go out of business. If you are a verse-bottom, then just be honest with yourself, because two bottoms lying on their backs either need a top, a double-ended dildo, or something in the bedroom to get things started, and in this scenario a threesome just might be in order.
Over the years I have heard of some guys who were predominantly bottom experimenting with topping for a while, however what these men and ones like them must realize is that, if you have been fucked more times than you've fucked, you are either a bottom or a verse-bottom.
Don't be so thirsty to add another dude to your list of beverages you enjoy, that you go against what you are. and end up embarrassing yourself, and in a way become selfish. Think about how that bottom feels when he's been waiting such a long time for the right dude to come along and give him the sexual experience of a lifetime, and instead he's left wondering why he ever gave you his number in the first place.
I happen to believe that we all have the ability to be versatile, it is just a matter of how turned on we are, how great the sexual chemistry is between two people, and if you are in a relationship with someone. Majority of men who are tops, whether they want to admit it or not, have bottomed once or twice in their lives. It's a natural occurrence especially when you are trying to find your sexual-role or are in a union where nothing in the bedroom is off limits. A top being fucked for the first time, may not want to try being verse with someone such as Castro, Ace Rockwood, or Diesel Washington. While a bottom fucking for the first time may not want to top someone experienced like Remy Mars, Trapboyy, or Shorty J. Gentlemen until you feel one-hundred percent confident in playing either role, for the sake of your face, don't claim to be versatile. You're just a bottom with dreams, goals, ass-pirations of being versatile, and trust with persistence, you will get there.
Then you have those men who have a problem with being labeled as a "bottom" because to some people it isn't deemed to be masculine, so they claim to be verse because it doesn't hold that effeminate stigma. However to say that you are "verse", is like a dude who hasn't had sex with a female in ten years, claiming he's bisexual. Seriously, I don't think so. You my friend are on the hunt for dick more than hoes walking the strip in Las Vegas. Don't pay attention to what ideals our culture places on sexual roles because in all honesty, since when did being feminine or masculine determine your sexual position? I'm not going to lie, I have had some men whom people would consider feminine, put it down better between the sheets than these homo-thugs.
And for those who claim to be versatile, but have a grocery list of criteria of what a man should look like in order for them to top them, throw that list in the trash along with your versatile status. Even if that man is thirty inches taller than you, with Arnold Schwarzenegger type muscles, if his penis is two inches long, you mean to tell me you're going to be satisfied? If he has the bank account of Donald Trump, pays all your bills, gives you his credit card to go shopping on Rodeo Drive, but has a 4-inch penis...Are you really going to tell me that he is keeping you satisfied? My point exactly! It's obvious that you are an opportunist, and not a true versatile.
I am short as hell, 5'2"--proud dammit, and I'm a cutie so the laughter may now cease lol. Recently I was having a conversation with someone and I asked them if they would ever let me top them? Now even though this person has never bottomed before, he has been willing to bottom for a guy he was dating in the past, but since there relationship never came into full fruition, he never got the opportunity to play that specific role. He proceeded to tell me that I could never top him because I was shorter than he was, and that he wouldn't be turned on. Now this is time for a short intermission while we all take that statement in....By no means is my dick small, and the last time I checked that was the only part going deep sea diving, correct? I mean my whole body isn't walking into your booty hole. And if I could walk inside there, I probably would since I'm a certifiable freak, but to me it just came off as ignorance.
Another man revealed to me that he would have sex with me if I was bottoming for him, but he wouldn't be in a relationship with me because my bank account wasn't as substantial as he requires his tops to have. What?! Get off your lazy butt and get a job, I'm not here to take care of you, if women are working now days and in some cases bringing home more money than their boyfriends and husbands, you better believe that your behind is going to be out there working hard for a check. I have no patience for that.
As as gay men we often limit our possibilities with these ridiculous list of what our man should be. Then when we get played out time and time again, we want to cry about it to anyone who will listen, and damn all men to being dogs, but that topic is for another post.
Let us not forget those men who claim to be versatile, and soon as you've gave them a small dose of that vitamin-D, they've ran out the room quicker than Usain Bolt! Don't be so desperate to fuck every man that looks good, that your'e gonna lie, stretch your ass, and then have me cleaning up the unthinkable because you didn't clean yourself out correctly, hell to the fuck no! Get some practice, maybe a dildo, the Mr. Marcus one is perfect, I happen to own one, and then come back and try to claim the title of being America's Top Versatile.
Bottom line gentlemen please be real because no matter what those succulent lips say, when the lights go out, your limp dick or your track running skills will reveal the truth. Giving your sexual partner a not so good story to tell all of his friends. And considering how small the gay community is, you really don't want that. And in my Evelyn Lozada voice "Don't front".