If you and your man get done having sex, and you both aren't fast asleep, it may be time to revamp that sexual chemistry.
The art of self-seduction is easy, a sexuality that most men begin masturbating between the ages of 14-17. Self-pleasure can provide some amazing orgasms. You know what you like and all of the different ways you like it. You know when you're in the mood, which means you will be at peak performance. You know your limits, and sometimes you may just surprise yourself.
Seducing someone else takes more skill. Knowing how to please and where to tease can be tricky. If you are in a relationship where you and your partner have superior sexual chemistry, you are one of the fortunate ones because often times the chemistry just isn't there. No matter how much of a porn star you may think you are, and may actually be, if there is no chemistry, the sex is guaranteed to be vanilla.
How many times have you stumbled across a man who is gorgeous and packing, only to find out he has no idea what to do with all of that beauty or his booty? If you think someone is bad in bed, it could be one of three things. Either he is bad in bed. You are bad in bed, or the formula for sexual chemistry has yet to be found between the two of you.
If he's a bad lover (in your opinion), make sure it is not just your opinion and that he really isn’t good in bed.
Think about it. Is he a little shy (in which case, you could maybe suggest to him what might work for you both), or does he just lie there and make no effort whatsoever (in which case, he’s a bad lover)?
If you’re a bad lover (which is not easy to admit), then maybe it’s time for you to start working on your headboard game. Are you the type of Top who skips mutual foreplay and goes straight to the death stroke? If so, maybe you need to slow down, explore your partner's body more and learn to enjoy the outskirts of sex rather than just the basics?
Or are you a selfish lover whose only interested in yourself with little or no regard for what might turn him on? Either of these might cause him to be a bad lover because you give him nothing to work with.
Sex has a lot to do with chemistry, which is the combination of mental and physical attraction. If there is no chemistry, then the sex will be bad and you might think he is boring in bed when in reality he is only boring in bed with you.
In life we often see things from our point of view, and never stop to view things from a different perspective other than our own. When it comes to sex, it's simple. If you want a good lover, then be a good lover.
This does not mean you read a book or watch a porn flick trying to find out all the good moves. It means you read your partner and work out which moves work for him as an individual and for you as a couple. You can read books or look at porn to give you ideas of what you would like to try, but when it comes to pleasing your partner, you don't need to research any further than them.
We all have different triggers, different erogenous zones, different limits and different desires. If your current partner is not up to your expectations, then perhaps it is time to find out his preferences.
Sex is familiar. But having sex in a different environment, such as outdoors can be exciting because it’s familiar yet feels new and different. Don’t try to find a way to “take someone home.” Make orgasm your destination. Then take a path you don’t normally travel. Try something familiar yet different, like eating him out with an ice cube in your mouth. While giving your man head, try popping an Altoid in your mouth right before, the menthol in mints provides a tingling sensation.
Seducing someone is more than the physical, it's a play on the psyche. If you know that by the end of the night you're trying to have some mind blowing sex, at dinner charm your man in conversation. Make him laugh, tease him. Whisper hints that build invisible stairways of anticipation. Exude confidence so he knows he’s in good hands. Imagine all the ways you want to bring him to the edge of climax before you jump into ecstasy.
The sensations that a baritone provide are nothing short of orgasmic. When a man faintly presses his lips right against my ear, and begin to whisper, my dick immediately begins to rise. It is important to savor these little, often overlooked components of foreplay, some of which can be explored all day--until it's time to play. Focus on your partner and he will sense your appreciation. Touch him with glancing fingers. Don’t grab with pawing hands. Caress body parts usually left excluded like ankles, elbows and ear lobes. Breathe in the aroma of his skin, the scent of his neck. Everyone likes to feel sexy and with little gestures such as these, it will bring out the animalistic nature in anyone.
Don't neglect to share your fetishes and ask your partner about theirs. Sometimes we are too afraid of what others may think of us, therefore we neglect to share with them what turns us on. For a relationship this is a recipe for disaster because you should be comfortable enough with your lover to share any and everything with him.
Sexual chemistry is difficult because we don’t often find someone who likes exactly what we like, who can intuitively figure out our body, or knows much about their body, and all the ways a little pain and lots of pleasure mix. Great lovers, like great chefs, know that surprising combinations are unforgettable.
If your partner is boring in bed, communicating with them is the only way to spice things up in the bedroom, but before you do--examine yourself. Make sure you are doing all you can to please him, building up his confidence, and in turn receiving uninhibited pleasure. Know that sex should not be grounds for a breakup, unless someone cheats, then that is a different story. If you've tried everything within your power, weigh the pros and cons of the relationship because five-star sex alone, does not equate husband material.