VH1 Single Ladies Theme Song
Turn off Beyonce's "Grown Woman," and come to the realization that you are a grown ass man who stands tall and alone--not in need of another man to feel complete.
I understand, it can be extremely difficult living single in a society where everyone around you seems to either be searching for love, falling in love or have already professed there love at the alter in front of family, friends and God. You go to the club and everyone's coupled up, even if it is just for one night. You turn on the radio and Rihanna has you desperately waiting for the day that you can ask that special someone, "Where have you been all my life?" You go to a local restaurant, but you can't sit there alone, because you'll end up looking like a loser as the booths that surround you fill up with the children of Cupid. You're sitting all alone at your table, your phone suddenly "bings"and it's an update on Facebook--your best-friend is now engaged, and photos of his engagement ring are plastered all over your feed...WTF?!
At this point, not matter what you've been through in previous relationships, despite what you know is false, it just seems as though there is nothing bad about being in a relationship, and nothing good about being single.
Contrary to popular belief it is actually beneficial for an adult to be completely unattached for a significant amount of time during their life. Not in the pursuit of love in any form or fashion, but simply enjoying life for everything it has to offer as the single entity you graced this world as. This time allows for personal and financial growth, which will both be great additions to a relationship when that time comes.
Let's take a look at some of the reasons why being single has just as many pros as being in a relationship. If you are feeling down about not having that special man in your life this holiday season; I guarantee you that this list will have you up early for church on Sunday, with your best suit on, ready to praise Jesus for your freedom.:
Your hands and sex toys don't talk back, which make for the perfect sexual partner. There is nothing worse than a hookup trying to extend their 15-minutes of fame, hoping to avoid the walk of shame. Not only are sex toys silent, except for the buzzing of course, but they can last for hours and once you're finished you don't have to worry about helping them catch a nut. You just clean up, and go about your business, even if this means round two.
You only have to worry about your problems. When we get into relationships, we are supposed to care about our significant other's lives. If their day is going well, if they need any emotional support--support that sometimes turns into you being their unpaid therapist. Everyone has issues, but with some people. no day is your ordinary fun in the sun type of affair. Nope, even if it's a minor problem, it has to be turned into something catastrophic in their mind. Stay single, and the only drama you have to deal with, is your own.More money in your pocket. One factor that a lot of men fail to realize before jumping the gun is that relationships can be expensive. Dates, holidays, the cost of maintaining your looks, traveling expenses in a long-distance situation, etc.--can really start to add up, and deplete your bank account if you aren't careful. When you are single all of your funds can be spent however you'd like, or left in the bank for your rainy day, not because your boyfriend needs a little support, or sucks at managing his own checks.
Your place is spotless. One of the worst feelings in the world is to come back to a home that was clean when you left, only to find a sink of overflowing dishes, a bed that is unmade, hair clippings all over the bathroom counter or a trash can that resembles a landfill. As much as you love him, it will drive you insane after a long day of putting up with clients, coworkers, and your dreaded boss. When you are single the only mess you have to clean up is your own, and the same goes for if you are the messy offender. If you want to leave your underwear all over the house, then enjoy doing so, there's no boyfriend around to bombard you with complaints.
You can be happy with being who you are, and not whom he wants you to be. In relationships we are forced to analyze ourselves, even if we are fine with who we have grown to be. Sometimes you have to compromise, shut down your ego, filter your mouth, act a specific way, and become more of whom they want you to be. But when you're single it is you who defines who you are and if you see room for improvement, and decide to change--it will be based solely on your terms.
It can be draining having to stroke the delicate male ego, especially when you need all of that energy to stroke your own. Yes, baby I love you. Yes, baby you're sexy. Yes, baby your dick is huge. Some men need constant reassurance that they are seen as sheer perfection in your eyes, and who has time for that.
If you check out, you better make sure you check in by a certain time. When you are in a relationship whenever you want to go out to a club or any other social event, it is respectful of you to check in with your partner, letting them know that your are safe, and in certain instances to reassure them that you are not out doing anything to jeopardize the union you two have created. But when you are single you don't have to call anyone to make sure they're okay, or check with someone prior to making plans to make sure that you're plans don't interfere with something they might have wanted you to do with them. Nope, you don't have to worry about beating the sunrise. Or him walking around the apartment the next day as if you died the previous night, and it is only your ghost floating around in your less than happy home.
You are free to mingle with the singles. Some people are serial daters and therefore can't go anywhere without running into someone they've only talked to, slept with or had a relationship with. If you are a Romeo type living in a metropolitan area, you are bound to run into men whom you've had "encounters" with. This usually happens when you are with your man, and it can be awkward when these men come up to you, bearing hugs, kisses, some grabbing you in places only your man should be handling, but hey you don't talk to these guys on a regular, they just still have love for you, right?
When you are single, you don't have to worry about explaining to your man on the way home who that guy was that kissed you on the cheek, gave you too long of a hug, or smacked you on the ass just how you like it, like he's done it before. There's no sleeping on the couch that night, when you are single that is.
The only attitude you have to deal with is your own. Let's face it, we all wake up a little moody on occasion, but we can deal with our own mood swings. However, there is nothing worse than having to deal with someone else's stink face, especially that of a gay man. Some times I think we're worse than women when they are on their menstrual.
Put away the sexy underwear, and come to bed in whatever you like. Some men need or want you to look like you just walked out of heaven, 24/7, and in reality that is something that is not obtainable. Sometimes you want to leave the Candymans and Pikantes in the drawer, and lay in bed in a nice pair of Hanes. Maybe you want to lounge around the house in an oversized hoodie and your favorite pair of overstretched sweatpants. When you are single, all of this is achievable my friend.
This is more for the bottom and versatile men out there; who can sound the alarm because you do not have to worry about keeping your ass perfectly shaven. As a single man the only time you have to even entertain the thought of shaving is when you want that smooth baby bottom feeling for yourself, or for those nights when you plan on meeting up for a little hookup.
In our culture it is hard to determine whose a platonic male friend without any hidden agendas, and whose a lion laying in the grass of the African planes, waiting to pounce at the opportune time. When you're single you don't have to make your man feel comfortable about the company you keep, explaining to him that your sex-siren of a friend may be the town's slut bucket, but by no means is someone you have or ever would sleep with.
You have all the time in the world to spend with your family. When you venture into a relationship, your time becomes even more divided between friends, family, boyfriend, and of course the much needed personal time. It becomes an issue during holidays when you want to stick to your traditions of being with your family, ones that your new boyfriend doesn't understand, or ones that he wants to be apart of-knowing all along that your family isn't so accepting of homosexual relationships. Maybe he doesn't have a close relationship with his family, and therefore shows feelings of envy when it comes to you and your family's relationship. When you're single your time is your time, to divide how and where you see fit.
Career wise, you don't have to worry about if taking a promotion is going to put your relationship status in jeopardy. Maybe the position calls for you to move, and if you're in love with someone there may be plenty of reasons why your partner may not want to make that long trip across the country with you. What about their family, friends, job, school, or their complacency with living in their current residence? However, since you're single you are free to pack up your entire life, and move the hell on to bigger and better things.
A tumultuous relationship can ruin a perfectly good day or week, or add to what has already been a stressful couple of days for you. So if you're single, consider yourself lucky not to have to deal with all of that drama.
Personal space is one of the biggest advantages because we all need that one-on-one time with ourselves to self-reflect, grow and enjoy some hobbies that are sacred to us. Maybe you just want to look like a complete slob, not be bothered by anyone or concerned with anything.
Some people don't understand this concept, one in which you don't need to hear from them every day. It is this that can turn into an argument, an fight you wouldn't be having if you were single.
Have you been gaining a couple of extra pounds over this holiday season? No problem, you have no one to impress but yourself. The world is a competitive place, and we are taught to be so at a very young age, therefore we take the same approach when it comes to our looks. It is necessary that we look good for our men because if we don't, another man will. And if your man is a dirty dog, he just may feel the need to stray, and when he comes back home, here comes the fleas. Take the pressure off of looking magazin ready, all day, and indulge in the single life.
When you're in a relationship a lot of your energy goes towards supporting the other person's aspirations. If they aren't mature enough to realize that even though the two of you are in a relationship, that,you are still two people with different paths in life, it can derail your future. If you're single you can focus solely on supporting your own goals, which means more victories on your scoreboard.
There's no heartbreak hotel to check into, no potential for a breakup, or someone to cheat on you.
Some people just suck at remembering dates, and if you are one of those people I'm sure you get into a lot of trouble for it. The first date, the first time you've kissed, the first time you kissed when you were in love, the first time you had sex, the first argument, their birthday, your anniversary--sometimes it's too much to remember in addition to everything else you have going on. Okay, so maybe the birthday and the anniversary are easy to remember, but everything else, release it into the wind, wave goodbye and say hello to the single life.
You can have an unbiased threesome, without anyone getting jealous over the way you ate someone's ass, deepthroated their dick to the very last milliimeter, or fucked them like it was the last supper and you were up for execution that next day.
Your sexual needs are always satisfied. In a relationship everyone isn't willing to do what they need to, to keep their partner happy. Sure relationships are about compromise, but there are some things people just aren't willing to budge on, but when you're single you can always find someone to do whatever your heart, mouth, penis and ass desire.
You can watch porn. Seriously there are some men who are absolutely against their partners watching porn. As weird as it may be, they think of it as cheating, because you're getting gratification by watching someone else have sex. Seriously though, I once dated a man who didn't like me watching porn.
Despite bottoms claiming that, "They are always clean," the truth is that-that statement is a fucking lie. Unless they are starving themselves 24-hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, they definitely have some "children" in the playpen. Hell if if they were starving themselves, their bodies would still be producing chocolate. So bottoms if you're single be thankful you don't have to worry about being clean every time your man's around, wanting to fuck at the most inopportune times.
For those of you who are still hiding in that closet, since you are single, you don't have to worry about the onslaught of love threatening your DL status. Once some men fall in love, they want to share that love with everyone. They want to meet your friends, and family as your boyfriend and not as your homeboy. They want to post intimate photos of the two of you on Facebook and Twitter. They want to hold hands as the two of you walk down the street during non-gay pride weekends. Yes, they want everyone to know that you sir, are their man. But since you're single, you are free to hide in that closet with your Malibu Barbie, and Ken dolls until some man comes along and drags your ass out kicking and screaming.
While there is plenty of truth in this list, some of it hidden in humor, there are just as many benefits of being in a healthy relationship--I just don't have the time at the moment to include them, but if you are committed, or have ever been in love before, then you already know of the pros, which means I don't have to catch you up to speed.