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Sometimes I long for the days of my childhood where love and sex were not on my list of "must haves" and the closest I came to achieving an orgasm was during urination, after holding it for what seemed to be an eternity. Okay so maybe that was a weird example, but seriously the sensations felt during this intimate moment are just as fulfilling as ejaculating, but that is for another time, another conversation.
Sex is everywhere you go these days, magazines, television, music, billboards, movies, the Internet; and factually I have not gone one day of my adult life without coming into contact with some sexual reference. Often times the conversation is about the benefits of sex, but have you ever stopped to think about the pros of abstaining from it?
In order for someone to begin committing themselves to abstinence, one must first understand what the reason or reasons are behind them engaging in sexual activities. Some of the reasons we choose to have sex are:
- Recreational fun
- Tension release.
- A thrill for conquest
- Rebellion against hetero-sexist norms
- Uncontrollable addiction
- Way to boost someone's self-esteem
- A mask for emotional issues
- Temporary cure for loneliness or boredom
- Horniness, gratification
- Vehicle for avoiding emotional intimacy
I don't judge those who do have casual sex because it is thier life to live as freely as they choose. This article is more so to get your mind thinking about what it would be like to journey the more difficult route, rather than giving into societal pressures, friends, or our own need for sexual pleasure. I decided to list a few reasons to practice abstinence for you gentlemen, leaving you to come to your own conclusions on the subject.
LESS HEALTH ISSUES TO STRESS OVER
I'm sure you gentlemen have been on the phone with one of your friends during those late night calls where they are so stressed out about a mysterious itch, bump, or burning sensation. The fact that the condom broke, or maybe that they became so caught up in the moment that they chose not use any type of protection at all! Hell maybe it has been you?
When having sex with someone whether it is protected or not, there is always a risk of potentially catching a sexually transmitted disease. Skin-to-skin contact diseases, such as herpes, syphilis, HPV, pubic lice, or scabies--which isn't a sexually transmitted disease, but is extremely contagious and usually transferred during sex, are easy to catch.
Oral sex isn't fool proof either. It can be easy to transmit an STD due to microscopic cuts within your mouth, that could leave way for those nasty bugs to enter. As they say, the only way to truly prevent STD infection is abstinence.
EMOTIONALLY STABILITY
No matter how much people try to deny it, for most, feelings are always attached with sex. While they may not be intertwined initially, you keep that fuck-buddy around for a while and see if either he or yourself doesn't gain some sort of entitlement. I once was in such a situation, and unbeknownst to me, the guy started to develop feelings, feelings that completely shocked me. He was new to having sex with men, but he took very well to the new experience, one of the most passionate, and attentive lovers I've ever had. From the beginning he was the one who stated that he did not want a relationship with me or anyone else, and I respected that, and took our relationship for what it was, just friends with benefits. When you need it, I've got you, when I need it, you've got me, and that's how it was until time passed.
Slowly, but surely, he'd want to have "pillow talk" after sex, he wanted to call and text me about things not related to sex. And if I was unavailable to meet up because of work, school, or just because of life itself, he would be really upset, and would feel rejected. It was weird to me for him to develop feelings, when mine had already checked out at the moment he made that statement, when he first met me.
Sex brings along emotions that we sometimes don't think about before hopping in between the sheets. The power of dick is intoxicating, and the silky insides of a tight-phat ass can exhilarating, both the point where your "friends-with-benefits" situation becomes complicated. If you want to keep things drama free, don't go there to begin with.
ABSTINENCE IS EMPOWERING
There is something incredibly empowering about having self control over your sexual urges. There will always be one person that we run into on a daily who we could see ourselves having unfiltered, passionate-sex with, but you wouldn't want it to be irresponsible sex, that could lead to the aforementioned problems. Humans are naturally sexual creatures, but when you can turn down that urge, and in turn empower yourself, you gain a boost in self confidence.
Be different, it looks good on everyone. Don't let others opinions weigh heavy on you, and make you feel as though you're broken, ugly, or lame because you aren't fucking everything in town. Let them know, you're grown, and as a grown man you handle your sexuality with a sense of maturity.
MORE TIME TO FOCUS ON YOU
Without sex, love and commitment, you can focus on the other joys of life. Trust me sex is not the ultimate joy, neither does it guarantee you love, acceptance, or a long lasting boost in self esteem. Without sex and all of its' baggage, you find out more about yourself by taking the energy once put into sex, and putting it to good use in another area of your life.
When you do get into a relationship, incredible sex will not be the reason you stay in a bad situation like some of these men, because after focusing on you, you know your self worth . Come on we all know those people who stayed with someone because the sex was good, and no matter how emotionally bruised they were, they kept going back.
YOU TRULY GET TO KNOW THE PERSON YOU ARE DATING
Countless studies have proven it to be true. The longer a couple waits to have sex, the stronger a bond they form. If you so choose to still date while practicing abstinence, such as I have done for years now, it really does affect the way you get to know someone. Sometimes people don't have much in common, so they rely on sex to build a common bond, and when sex is used to make a "connection" with someone, the end result will most likely be disastrous. Without common interest and goals outside of the bedroom, no relationship built on sex will survive, and it isn't wise to stay in one or build one based solely on that factor.
A NEW BEGINNING
No matter if you are a virgin or the biggest whore on the planet, practicing abstinence allows for a fresh new start. It allows you to concentrate on what type of people you truly connect with, without the haze that is sex, and in the future you'll make better decisions on whom you choose to date. Obviously you can never revert back to being a virgin once you've had sex for the first time, but you can always start new within your mind, and mold a better life, in all areas, for yourself.